'Impoverished' Ghana and 'rich' USA: a football tale

After seeing the generous amount of ink Western Media gave to the Ghanaian witchdoctor, Kwaku Bonsam’s claims to have used juju to cause Cristiano Ronaldo injuries, I was very amused. Somehow the amusement morphed into inspiration to write a piece on it – after all it’s not every day ESPN and the Guardian considers local palmwine spot ‘juju’ banter from Ghana as newsworthy. I had an intricate plot to write about superstition and hope, and how none of that has helped the 32-year trophy-less drought suffered by the Black Stars.

I did my research.

The endless allegations of witchcraft are used time and time again to explain our football results – mostly our failures. I even had clever quips about Luis Suárez’s current  injury status and further Uruguay’s humiliating loss against Costa Rica; how they could all be explained – spiritual warfare wise – as payback for traumatizing 25 million Ghanaians four years ago in South Africa.

But no, the Wall Street Journal had to rain on my parade.

Good old American condescension had to rear its big head … again. That same old condescension you see in the suspicious smirks of some visa-processing officials. The same condescension (and ignorance) which explains Africa is still a country, and why that tiny Caribbean island dominating America in the sprints (athletics) must certainly be doping.

No, I wasn’t offended that the WSJ called Ghana “impoverished” – though I waited in vain for the point the author might make about football skills and poverty. I even ignored jabs at the Black Stars  – “their résumé doesn't exactly scream "giant killer." But goodness, the hubris I could not overlook. The hubris of a country who we have manhandled for two consecutive World Cups calling our team out as a “not particularly good one.” Trash talk should be the preserve of victors and people with good football analysis. Big grammar no dey mean good sense oh!

Do we over-celebrate when we beat the U.S. and other “developed” countries on a big stage such as the World Cup? Yes we do. But this is football so allow us to be petty.

If you are looking for gracious victors go elsewhere. It’s not the U.N. Security Council where we occasionally get a seat at the table without a veto vote. It’s the World Cup, a place where the likes of Asamoah Gyan have been known to lead us in dance much to your chagrin when we defeat your country that allegedly pumps aid and promotes GMO’s into ours.

There is a saying in my small impoverished country that loosely translates as: “When the sun shines, salt laughs heartily at shea butter, forgetting the rains will one day come.” Dear Matthew Futterman and the WSJ, we might not have many skyscrapers, nuclear weapons, or a country people risk their lives to try and get into daily, but we have a kick-ass football team that the U.S. owes a double debt of World Cup humiliation to. It’s not personal. It’s football.