Brazil 2014: What we have learned so far

We’re about to enter the quarter-final stage of the Brazil 2014 World Cup. What have we learned so far?

1 The second round was pointless. All eight group winners reached the quarter-finals; all eight second-placed teams were knocked out. OK, there were goals, shootouts, drama, excitement … but, really, we could have saved ourselves a week there.

2 Asian teams are rubbish. The four qualifiers from the AFC – Australia, Iran, Japan and South Korea – each finished bottom of their group with a grand total of three points between them. It’s not as if the continent has any great teams in reserve waiting to take up the mantle. Jordan was thrashed 5-0 on home soil by Uruguay in a World Cup play-off. At this rate Qatar will be lucky to come last at its own World Cup in 2022.

3 Show me the money. Algeria and Nigeria both made it to the knockout rounds and pushed their more heralded opposition to the limit. Once again, however, African teams led the world in bonus disputes, notably Cameroon, Nigeria and Ghana. Cameroon players initially refused to fly to Brazil, while the president of Ghana had to send a chartered plane carrying suitcases full of cash to Brazil to ensure the team took the field against Portugal. Clearly, “the cheque’s in the post” no longer washes with African players.

4 History counts for nothing. Italy and England have won the World Cup four times between them but they were among the first teams to head home. Only Spain made a quicker exit, and they were the reigning world champions. Time to get out those old VHS tapes and reminisce about when the rest of the world knew their place.

5 History counts for everything. When push comes to shove the plucky underdogs will always be crushed by football’s big beasts. Witness Brazil v Chile, France v Nigeria, Netherlands v Mexico, Argentina v Switzerland, Germany v Algeria, even Belgium v USA. It’s a waste of time investing in the future of your national team; you should really concentrate on getting a glorious past.

6 The Dutch cannot afford to go to penalties. Spot-kicks are a recurring national nightmare for the Oranje, who have lost four out of five tournament shootouts, including their World Cup exit to Brazil in 1998. By contrast, Costa Rica nervelessly scored all five in the 12-yard duel with Greece in the second round. They also have the joint-best defensive record among the quarter-finalists and one of the tournament’s best goalkeepers in Keylor Navas, so a goalless tie after two hours is a virtual banker.

7 Netherlands v Costa Rica will be a goal-fest. The five matches played in Salvador have produced 24 goals – that’s nearly five a game. Come on, let’s get that average up.

8 Colombia are the new Brazil. Stylish, fresh, vibrant … it’s just like watching the 1982 Seleçao. Expect, then, Scolari’s stolid 2014 vintage to drag Colombia’s fantasy football down to earth, with Neymar providing the Paolo Rossi-style coup de grace.

9 The French might want to think about gumshields. Harald “Toni” Schumacher’s infamous flying assault on Patrick Battiston in the 1982 semi-final left the French defender in a neck brace and minus several teeth. Les Bleus might be forgiven a nervous twinge at seeing Germany’s Manuel Neuer repeatedly charging out of his goal in his sweeper-keeper role against Algeria.

10 An Argentina-Brazil final is still on. And the Brazilians thought losing to Uruguay in 1950 was traumatic …