Young adults waiting longer to marry, new census data show

More than 40 years ago, the vast majority of young adults either lived at home with their parents or got married. Today, about half still live at home, but the majority of those who leave the nest choose either to live alone or cohabit with a partner or roommates, according to U.S. Census Bureau data released Monday.

“Marriage certainly isn’t dead, but marriage no longer organizes not only most of your life but not even most your major transitions and decisions,” said Stephanie Coontz, director of research for the Council on Contemporary Families. “Over the course of the 20^th Century, we developed this notion that everybody proceeds in lockstep and that is just not happening anymore.”

On average, young people wait six years longer to get married than in the 1960s. Today, only 8 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds live with a spouse and the median age of first marriages is in the late 20s for both men and women.

Census data has long shown that young people who are pursuing higher education or looking for stable jobs will delay marriage. In the last 50 years, the proportion of under-30 adults with a college degree has more than doubled from 15 percent to 34 percent. The recently released data indicates that while these young adults are still delaying marriage, they’re not necessarily waiting to have children. Forty percent of young adult parents are single, contributing to an increase in the number living with relatives.

“There are some people who move home because they have just kind of fallen apart,” Coontz said. “But there are also people moving home with parents’ blessings to get a foothold in this very difficult economy. It gives them a springboard.”

She says this choice does not necessarily indicate a lack of ambition. “We need to stop the idea that there’s something wrong with this,” Coontz said. “We have to stop assuming that everybody takes the same route … Treat them as normal and don’t stigmatize them.”

In fact, sociological research shows that delaying marriage may also lessen the risk of divorce, Coontz said. For every year a young woman waits to wed, the probability of divorce drops steadily until they reach their 30s.

However, for lower-income, less-educated young adults, waiting may not be a choice but an obligation. “People just don’t feel they have the economic wherewithal to get married and will cohabit quickly in order to save money,” Coontz said. “But I don’t think it’s something we should be concerned about when it’s a choice.”

William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution, said that what some may call an extended adolescence actually is “an increased realization by young people that they need to take time to make important decisions about getting an education, being on more sound financial footing before taking the plunge of choosing a lifelong partner.”